عبرت عن مشاعر الخوف بالجري ما بصتش تحتها وقاومت خوفها ما هربتش منه ومستسلمتش حتى في ردها للااساءة كان بتعبير الركض والدفع مش رد الفعل بقصد القتل
طرح علمي لظاهرة الالحاد وربطها بالواقع الحالي من الجانب النفسي
Successful weight-loss treatments include setting goals and making lifestyle changes, such as eating fewer calories and being physically active. Medicines and weight-loss surgery also are options for some people if lifestyle changes aren’t enough.
Set Realistic Goals
Setting realistic weight-loss goals is an important first step to losing weight.
- Try to lose 5 to 10 percent of your current weight over 6 months. This will lower your risk for coronary heart disease (CHD) and other conditions.
- The best way to lose weight is slowly. A weight loss of 1 to 2 pounds a week is do-able, safe, and will help you keep off the weight. It also will give you the time to make new, healthy lifestyle changes.
- If you’ve lost 10 percent of your body weight, have kept it off for 6 months, and are still overweight or obese, you may want to consider further weight loss.
For Children and Teens
- If your child is overweight or at risk for overweight or obesity, the goal is to maintain his or her current weight and to focus on eating healthy and being physically active. This should be part of a family effort to make lifestyle changes.
- If your child is overweight or obese and has a health condition related to overweight or obesity, your doctor may refer you to a pediatric obesity treatment center.
Lifestyle changes can help you and your family achieve long-term weight-loss success. Example of lifestyle changes include:
- Focusing on balancing energy IN (calories from food and drinks) with energy OUT (physical activity)
- Following a healthy eating plan
- Learning how to adopt healthy lifestyle habits
Over time, these changes will become part of your everyday life.
Cutting back on calories (energy IN) will help you lose weight. To lose 1 to 2 pounds a week, adults should cut back their calorie intake by 500 to 1,000 calories a day.
- In general, having 1,000 to 1,200 calories a day will help most women lose weight safely.
- In general, having 1,200 to 1,600 calories a day will help most men lose weight safely. This calorie range also is suitable for women who weigh 165 pounds or more or who exercise routinely.
These calorie levels are a guide and may need to be adjusted. If you eat 1,600 calories a day but don’t lose weight, then you may want to cut back to 1,200 calories. If you’re hungry on either diet, then you may want to add 100 to 200 calories a day.
Very low-calorie diets with fewer than 800 calories a day shouldn’t be used unless your doctor is monitoring you.
For overweight children and teens, it’s important to slow the rate of weight gain. However, reduced-calorie diets aren’t advised unless you talk with a health care provider.
Healthy Eating Plan
A healthy eating plan gives your body the nutrients it needs every day. It has enough calories for good health, but not so many that you gain weight.
A healthy eating plan is low in saturated fat, trans fat, cholesterol, sodium (salt), and added sugar. Following a healthy eating plan will lower your risk for heart disease and other conditions.
Healthy foods include:
- Fat-free and low-fat dairy products, such as low-fat yogurt, cheese, and milk.
- Protein foods, such as lean meat, fish, poultry without skin, beans, and peas.
- Whole-grain foods, such as whole-wheat bread, oatmeal, and brown rice. Other grain foods include pasta, cereal, bagels, bread, tortillas, couscous, and crackers.
- Fruits, which can be fresh, canned, frozen, or dried.
- Vegetables, which can be fresh, canned (without salt), frozen, or dried.
Canola and olive oils, and soft margarines made from these oils, are heart healthy. However, you should use them in small amounts because they’re high in calories.
You also can include unsalted nuts, like walnuts and almonds, in your diet as long as you limit the amount you eat (nuts also are high in calories).
The National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute’s “Aim for a Healthy Weight” patient booklet provides more information about following a healthy eating plan.
Foods to limit. Foods that are high in saturated and trans fats and cholesterol raise blood cholesterol levels and also might be high in calories. Fats and cholesterol raise your risk for heart disease, so they should be limited.
Saturated fat is found mainly in:
- Fatty cuts of meat, such as ground beef, sausage, and processed meats (for example, bologna, hot dogs, and deli meats)
- Poultry with the skin
- High-fat dairy products like whole-milk cheeses, whole milk, cream, butter, and ice cream
- Lard, coconut, and palm oils, which are found in many processed foods
Trans fat is found mainly in:
- Foods with partially hydrogenated oils, such as many hard margarines and shortening
- Baked products and snack foods, such as crackers, cookies, doughnuts, and breads
- Foods fried in hydrogenated shortening, such as french fries and chicken
Cholesterol mainly is found in:
- Egg yolks
- Organ meats, such as liver
- Whole milk or whole-milk products, such as butter, cream, and cheese
Limiting foods and drinks with added sugars, like high-fructose corn syrup, is important. Added sugars will give you extra calories without nutrients like vitamins and minerals. Added sugars are found in many desserts, canned fruit packed in syrup, fruit drinks, and nondiet drinks.
Check the list of ingredients on food packages for added sugars like high-fructose corn syrup. Drinks that contain alcohol also will add calories, so it’s a good idea to limit your alcohol intake.
Portion size. A portion is the amount of food that you choose to eat for a meal or snack. It’s different from a serving, which is a measured amount of food and is noted on the Nutrition Facts label on food packages.
Anyone who has eaten out lately is likely to notice how big the portions are. In fact, over the past 40 years, portion sizes have grown significantly. These growing portion sizes have changed what we think of as a normal portion.
Cutting back on portion size is a good way to eat fewer calories and balance your energy IN.
Food weight. Studies have shown that we all tend to eat a constant “weight” of food. Ounce for ounce, our food intake is fairly consistent. Knowing this, you can lose weight if you eat foods that are lower in calories and fat for a given amount of food.
For example, replacing a full-fat food product that weighs 2 ounces with a low-fat product that weighs the same helps you cut back on calories. Another helpful practice is to eat foods that contain a lot of water, such as vegetables, fruits, and soups.
Being physically active and eating fewer calories will help you lose weight and keep weight off over time. Physical activity also will benefit you in other ways. It will:
- Lower your risk for heart disease, heart attack, diabetes, and cancers (such as breast, uterine, and colon cancers)
- Strengthen your heart and help your lungs work better
- Strengthen your muscles and keep your joints in good condition
- Slow bone loss
- Give you more energy
- Help you relax and better cope with stress
- Allow you to fall asleep more quickly and sleep more soundly
- Give you an enjoyable way to share time with friends and family
The four main types of physical activity are aerobic, muscle-strengthening, bone strengthening, and stretching. You can do physical activity with light, moderate, or vigorous intensity. The level of intensity depends on how hard you have to work to do the activity.
People vary in the amount of physical activity they need to control their weight. Many people can maintain their weight by doing 150 to 300 minutes (2 hours and 30 minutes to 5 hours) of moderate-intensity activity per week, such as brisk walking.
People who want to lose a large amount of weight (more than 5 percent of their body weight) may need to do more than 300 minutes of moderate-intensity activity per week. This also may be true for people who want to keep off weight that they’ve lost.
You don’t have to do the activity all at once. You can break it up into short periods of at least 10 minutes each.
If you have a heart problem or chronic disease, such as heart disease, diabetes, or high blood pressure, talk with your doctor about what types of physical activity are safe for you. You also should talk with your doctor about safe physical activities if you have symptoms such as chest pain or dizziness.
Children should get at least 60 minutes or more of physical activity every day. Most physical activity should be moderate-intensity aerobic activity. Activity should vary and be a good fit for the child’s age and physical development.
Many people lead inactive lives and might not be motivated to do more physical activity. When starting a physical activity program, some people may need help and supervision to avoid injury.
If you’re obese, or if you haven’t been active in the past, start physical activity slowly and build up the intensity a little at a time.
When starting out, one way to be active is to do more everyday activities, such as taking the stairs instead of the elevator and doing household chores and yard work. The next step is to start walking, biking, or swimming at a slow pace, and then build up the amount of time you exercise or the intensity level of the activity.
To lose weight and gain better health, it’s important to get moderate-intensity physical activity. Choose activities that you enjoy and that fit into your daily life.
A daily, brisk walk is an easy way to be more active and improve your health. Use a pedometer to count your daily steps and keep track of how much you’re walking. Try to increase the number of steps you take each day. Other examples of moderate-intensity physical activity include dancing, gardening, and water aerobics.
For greater health benefits, try to step up your level of activity or the length of time you’re active. For example, start walking for 10 to 15 minutes three times a week, and then build up to brisk walking for 60 minutes, 5 days a week.
For more information about physical activity, go to the Department of Health and Human Services “2008 Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans” and the Health Topics Physical Activity and Your Heart article.
Changing your behaviors or habits related to food and physical activity is important for losing weight. The first step is to understand which habits lead you to overeat or have an inactive lifestyle. The next step is to change these habits.
Below are some simple tips to help you adopt healthier habits.
Change your surroundings. You might be more likely to overeat when watching TV, when treats are available at work, or when you’re with a certain friend. You also might find it hard to motivate yourself to be physically active. However, you can change these habits.
- Instead of watching TV, dance to music in your living room or go for a walk.
- Leave the office break room right after you get a cup of coffee.
- Bring a change of clothes to work. Head straight to an exercise class on the way home from work.
- Put a note on your calendar to remind yourself to take a walk or go to your exercise class.
Keep a record. A record of your food intake and the amount of physical activity that you do each day will help inspire you. You also can keep track of your weight. For example, when the record shows that you’ve been meeting your physical activity goals, you’ll want to keep it up. A record also is an easy way to track how you’re doing, especially if you’re working with a registered dietitian or nutritionist.
Seek support. Ask for help or encouragement from your friends, family, and health care provider. You can get support in person, through e-mail, or by talking on the phone. You also can join a support group.
Reward success. Reward your success for meeting your weight-loss goals or other achievements with something you would like to do, not with food. Choose rewards that you’ll enjoy, such as a movie, music CD, an afternoon off from work, a massage, or personal time.
Although being lean can often be healthy, being underweight can be a concern if it’s the result of poor nutrition or if you are pregnant or have other health concerns. So, if you’re underweight, see your doctor or dietitian for an evaluation. Together, you can plan how to meet your goal weight.
Here are some healthy ways to gain weight when you’re underweight:
- Eat more frequently. When you’re underweight, you may feel full faster. Eat five to six smaller meals during the day rather than two or three large meals.
- Choose nutrient-rich foods. As part of an overall healthy diet, choose whole-grain breads, pastas and cereals; fruits and vegetables; dairy products; lean protein sources; and nuts and seeds.
- Try smoothies and shakes. Don’t fill up on diet soda, coffee and other drinks with few calories and little nutritional value. Instead, drink smoothies or healthy shakes made with milk and fresh or frozen juice, and sprinkle in some ground flaxseed. In some cases, a liquid meal replacement may be recommended.
- Watch when you drink. Some people find that drinking fluids before meals blunts their appetite. In that case, it may be better to sip higher calorie beverages along with a meal or snack. For others, drinking 30 minutes after a meal, not with it, may work.
- Make every bite count. Snack on nuts, peanut butter, cheese, dried fruits and avocados. Have a bedtime snack, such as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, or a wrap sandwich with avocado, sliced vegetables, and lean meat or cheese.
- Top it off. Add extras to your dishes for more calories — such as cheese in casseroles and scrambled eggs, and fat-free dried milk in soups and stews.
- Have an occasional treat. Even when you’re underweight, be mindful of excess sugar and fat. An occasional slice of pie with ice cream is OK. But most treats should be healthy and provide nutrients in addition to calories. Bran muffins, yogurt and granola bars are good choices.
- Exercise. Exercise, especially strength training, can help you gain weight by building up your muscles. Exercise may also stimulate your appetite.
By Jeffry Zaslow for the Wall Street Journal
For adults who were children when their parents died, the question is hypothetical but heartbreaking: “Would you give up a year of your life to have one more day with your late mother or father?”
One in nine Americans lost a parent before they were 20 years old, and for many of them, this sort of question has been in their heads ever since.
“I’d give up a year of my life for just half a day with my parents,” says Jonathan Herman, a 33-year-old health-care executive in New York. He lost both his parents to cancer before he was 13. “I’ve had friends complain that they have to drive to see their parents for Thanksgiving,” he says. “I tell them: I’d do anything to spend Thanksgiving with my parents.”
When polled, 57% of adults who lost parents during childhood shared Mr. Herman’s yearnings, saying they, too, would trade a year of their lives. Their responses, part of a wide-ranging new survey, indicate that bereavement rooted in childhood often leaves emotional scars for decades, and that our society doesn’t fully understand the ramifications—or offer appropriate resources. The complete survey of more than 1,000 respondents, set for release later this month, was funded by the New York Life Foundation on behalf of Comfort Zone Camp, a nonprofit provider of childhood bereavement camps.
Among the findings: 73% believe their lives would be “much better” if their parents hadn’t died young; 66% said that after their loss “they felt they weren’t a kid anymore.”
Childhood grief is “one of society’s most chronically painful yet most underestimated phenomena,” says Comfort Zone founder Lynne Hughes, who lost both her parents before she was 13. She says she is worried that educators, doctors, and the clergy get little or no training to help them recognize signs of loneliness, isolation and depression in grieving children—and in adults who lost parents in childhood.
Students are often promoted from grade to grade, with new teachers never being informed that they’re grieving. Adults visit physicians, speak of depression, but are never asked if a childhood loss might be a factor.
New research suggests it’s time to pay closer attention. Children whose parents commit suicide, for instance, are three times as likely to commit suicide later in their lives, according to a just-released study by Johns Hopkins Children’s Center in Baltimore. The study also found that those who lost parents young are more likely to be hospitalized for depression or to commit violent crimes.
In the 2009 memoir “The Kids Are All Right,” four siblings from Bedford, N.Y., orphaned in the 1980s, described the risks in harrowing detail. They wrote of “growing up as lost souls,” and turning to drugs and other troubling behaviors as coping mechanisms.
It’s a common story. Gary Jahnke, 31, of Hastings, Minn., was 13 when his mother died of cancer. “I gave up on my good grades and dropped out of high school,” he says. “I didn’t do anything except drink, do drugs and be depressed. I was confused and angry, and adults didn’t know how to help me. I had a good relationship with my dad, but he was also grieving.” Mr. Jahnke credits his wife with helping him on his “upward climb,” and says his 2-month-old daughter has given his life purpose.
Support groups, which grieving adults often find helpful, seem less beneficial to bereaved children, says Holly Wilcox, a psychiatric epidemiologist who led the Hopkins study. Children are more apt to be buoyed by engaging in normal kid activities with supportive peers, and by receiving attention from adult relatives or friends who encourage them to talk about their feelings.
At the same time, the mental-health issues of grieving kids need to be better monitored by primary-care physicians in the days, months and years after their parents die, Dr. Wilcox says.
When surveyed about how they processed their grief, adults whose parents died when they were young speak of touchstones. They were helped by looking at old videos with surviving family members, by listening to favorite music and by writing memories of their parents in journals. Some chafed at more-formal approaches; 33% said talking to therapists or school guidance counselors were the “least helpful” activities.
The early loss of a parent can make some people more resilient, responsible and independent, the research shows. But there are risks there, too. Kids who get through by being stoic and behaving like adults often “pay a fierce price—namely their childhoods,” says Ms. Hughes. They focus on trying to keep their surviving parent happy or on stepping up to handle the responsibilities of their deceased parent.
Donica Salley, a 50-year-old cosmetics sales director in Richmond, Va., understands well the ramifications of losing a parent. When she was 13, her 44-year-old father drowned while on vacation in the Bahamas. “That was the onset of my depression,” she says. “My mom tried to fill the void and the hurt by buying me things.”
Two years ago, Ms. Salley’s husband died after falling off the roof of their house while cleaning the gutters. He was also 44. Their 17-year-old son has since attended a Comfort Zone camp. “It’s a safe haven for him,” Ms. Salley says. “There’s something about being with people who’ve been through it. When my father died, I didn’t know anyone who’d lost a parent. I was alone.”
The weekend bereavement camps, held in five states and serving 2,500 children a year, are designed “to catch kids at the beginning of their grief journeys,” Ms. Hughes says. About half of the camp’s 5,000 volunteers are adults who lost parents when they were young.
Christopher Blunt, an executive at New York Life and a camp volunteer, was 22 when his mom passed away. He tells of leading a “healing circle” discussion with eight campers, as they shared how their parents died—to suicide, a drug overdose, cancer.
One 10-year-old girl told the others about a day when she was 5 years old and got mad at her father. He came into her bedroom to kiss her good night, and she pretended she was asleep because she didn’t want to talk to him. He died of a heart attack the next day. “She’d been carrying this story with her for five years,” says Mr. Blunt, 48. “It’s so powerful to see the raw emotions these kids share.”
Some activists say it’s vital to start helping young people even before their parents die. To that end, the Georgia-based Jack & Jill Late Stage Cancer Foundation provides free vacations to families in which one parent is terminally ill. The organization was founded by Jon and Jill Albert, shortly before Jill’s 2006 death to cancer at age 45. Their children were then 11 and 13.
“When Jill passed away, people who lost parents when they were young told me it would be a 30-year impact for the kids,” says Mr. Albert, 48. His organization, with the help of corporate sponsors, has sent 300 families on vacations.
“These trips allow families to build memories, and to take a lot of pictures and videos together,” says Mr. Albert.
After their parents die, some of the children might find it painful to look at these last photos of them enjoying life as a family. But Mr. Herman, who lost his dad when he was 4 and his mother when he was 12, says such images can be a gift later in adulthood. For years, he resisted watching the video of his 9th birthday. But he now finds it cathartic to see his mother healthy, hugging him and calling his name.
“I haven’t heard my father’s voice since I was 4 years old,” he says. “It doesn’t exist [on tape]. It hurts not to hear him.” He admits he feels a touch envious of children who lose parents today, because they have so many more digital images to hold on to.
For many who lost parents young, one particular birthday in their adult years is highly anticipated—and bittersweet. “My mom was 44 when she died. My dad was 45,” says Ms. Hughes. “I just turned 46 in April, and it was a huge exhale for me. I had to live to 46 to break the curse.”
Ms. Hughes, who has two young children, says she has made progress in dealing with her loss. She no longer fantasizes about giving up a year of her life for a day with her parents. “I wouldn’t want to miss a year with my own kids.”